This. is. disgusting. on. so. many. levels.Wal-Mart worker dies in shopper stampede

I am loosing motivation to keep this blog active. It’s been over a year since I started the update on the main site of my webpage, and I haven’t touched it since. I at least have been blogging somewhat regularly, but now I am feeling disillusioned.
My audience can be broken down into 3 basic groups; Friends and family who want to look at photographs, distant acquaintances who want to make sure I am not dead, and poor random surfers who are sadly sent to an entry of mine by plugging conspicuous strings of words into their search engine, like “naked and closet penguin.” There is also the far and few between reader who actually enjoys my writing style and reads the various posts. But my primary audience is me. This blog mainly exists to create a record of myself.
Last night I had a dream. Those of you know me personally know that I have very emotional dreams. This one was no exception. I felt deep and horrifying emotions, which probably had a lot to do with it being so memorable. This dream was vivid and movie-like, even with a soundtrack (the title track’s refrain sang “Ev-ry thing we-know is GAW-awne…” I traveled all over the world, on the midst of all humanity coming to know the whole universe was about to disappear. It felt horribly crushing. We were all about to die. I was on the Ice, trying to mediate distraught scientists and workers from complete anarchy so they could continue preparations for the end. The mountains and sky were so indescribably beautiful. The movie ran in glorious contrast, the pure and exquisite beauty of the colors in the sky and the mountains, as the colors can only be at the pole, against scientists running mad, grotesque expressions on their faces as they tirelessly poured bubbling beaker after bubbling beaker trying to beat the earth from coming to its end. Between them weaved screaming support staff trying to convince the scientists that their efforts were hopeless or in vain, and in smaller numbers government and military officials barked orders to mask their fear. The sense of apocalypse filled the air as we grew more and more scared and frantic.
Personally I felt overwhelmed by how pointless my life felt. I couldn’t come to terms with what I’d done with my life and what it all meant. I felt so personally distraught that it became increasingly difficult to do the mediating work that I was trying to. Then one night, under the canopy of a starry sky, I shared my agony with an astronomer. He gave me a digital code that would enable me to send everything I’d ever written out into space. My writings would travel through space, like a cellular phone call looking for a tower, until some being somewhere could read the code. After knowing that someone, somewhere could read my stories, I suddenly felt comforted. Suddenly I had a reason to live, because suddenly I was somehow eternal. Even if no being ever read the transmission, it was out there, for all eternity, just in case. My life had meaning and I was overwhelmed with such a warm relieved feeling of comfort that it woke me up.
I knew I had to write. Clearly, this is something very important to me, if only in my subconscious dream state.
But in reference to this blog, I cannot forget the problem I ran into several years ago. I went on a blind date to find that the mysterious strange man knew every detail of my life and thoughts because he read my webpage before on the date. I felt suddenly violated. This man knew too much. It was unequal, it was unfair, and I was too exposed. I left the date and removed that website from the internet. From that point on, I vowed to only cover very superficial articles on the internet.
This worked fine for a great many years, but now that this website has grown and expanded, I feel it gives a lateral impression of me. If the main intent of this blog is to provide a record of myself, then my rule is preventing me from providing a very good record.
I write about bike rides, camping trips and hikes. I write about travel. I write about books, movies, and random observations. But little else. This has bothered me for a while, but has been getting worse lately. There is so much more to me, and now that we as a people are depending so much on the internet for social connection (see Facebook and Myspace) I feel that I am doing a disservice to myself and those who may read this site. My entries are feeling dry and repetitious. I started blogging about food. My god….food?! What the hell? I feel that by describing this as my life, this is becoming my life. But…my life is so much more.
I think my website desperately needs to take on a new platform for content….but what, and how?

After I’ve spent many years trying to minimize my worldly possessions, I am finding myself suddenly turning around in my path and leasing an apartment. This experience would be made most successful with the acquisition of new things. Well, maybe not NEW things, I am trying to find them used or on Craig’s list first. Drop me an email if you have any to share!

Things I want to add to my apartment experience:
cat condo/scratch post
comfy office chair, or balance ball chair
bed (matress, frame, the whole chebang)
sheets (on brown theme)
bathroom towel set (my brand new towel contantly catches on my ring!)
bed pillows
throw pillows
unwanted toiletries
wok
super strong blender or food processor
stereo speakers for Ipod/computer
apartment composter
balcony-side herb garden
plants that are cat-nibble-proof

For some reason photographing my food is motivating me to cook it. And you, viewer, are now subject to viewing platters of edibles about to suffer the fate of traveling through my digestive system! Yar!

breakfast: Organic, grain-fed, free range fried egg with raw new Zealand cheese-covered corn tortillia and chroizo-flavored meatless sausage

breakfast: Organic amaranth pancake topped with pure maple sryup, local yogurt and berries I even took a bite of this one before I got a chance to photograph it!

breakfast: Insprired by Starbucks’ efforts to offer healthy food options; oatmeal with fresh peanut butter and mixed dried fruit (black and yellow raisens, blueberries, cherries, cranberries)

taco-flavored ground turkey meat, southwestern potato scrmble leftovers, yogurt and cilantro

breakfast: Indonesian spiced chicken with peanuts over stri-fried veggies and rice

stir-fried veggies and chicken with Whoa-spicy thickened curry sauce over rice noodles

breakfast: Pear, banana, yogurt, and almonds all blended together in a smoothie (made with a 2hp blender! Hoo-ya!)

clearly forgettable stir fry…

cheese platter with Trader Joe’s torta in the center, roasted red peppers and a yummy chutney

nachos; chips, beans, cheese, salsa, friend-grown tomatoes, sour cream, cilantro

another Indonesian chicken dish

The last organized century in Oregon, The HARVEST CENTURY, fully welcomed me into this foreign season called “autumn”. And, oh, it could not have been any better (well, I could have seen a few less McCain signs on lawns, but hey, I figure SOMEBODY’S gotta vote for the guy. As long as they stay in a minority…).

Champoeg State Park where bales of hay surrounded by pumpkins marked the path to fresh squeezed apple cider, yogurts and muffins for breakfast. I started around the middle of start time, but was still one of the first few people out on the road because the dark, cold, and wet weather kept the others around their cars, putting extra technical layers on. However, thanks to Zoe, I’ve been riding regularly much earlier in the morning and I felt fine in the bitter brisk darkness. That doesn’t mean it wasn’t cold. Oh it was cold all right! My feet felt like frozen stubs that wouldn’t thaw. In fact, it was noon before I could wiggle my toes again. But it didn’t matter! The subtle changing of the leaves, the clear and bright autumn sky, that smell of wood and burn and soil that defines this time of year. Pumpkins, squash, apples everywhere. Not to mention the corn mazes, pumpkin patches and farmer’s markets that dappled the sides of the roads, beconing families from near and far. Okay, I am getting to nostalgic. This ride wasn’t perfect. I missed one of the darling “jack’o-Henry’s” and road about 10 miles off course, which in turn forced me to skip the full century route that I was so craving. This turned out to be a good thing, because I got pretty tired by mile 70 and had little urge to continue riding. I kept up a good pace, 15.5 mph up to mile 60, but somehow I still managed to come short of my never-ending 15mph goal! The snacks and meals were good, although they lacked variety. We had the same thing for lunch that we ate for dinner, and the food was the same at every rest stop. And, the food consisted mainly of potatoes. I mean, I love potatoes on a bike ride; healthy, easy simple carb that easily accepts salt. But not all day long, man! Chill!

We headed toward Canby and took the Canby ferry by bike! Then we went to Wilsonville and over to the delightful town of Sherwood and then up to Corneliusthen over to Newberg before heading back to Champoeg.

Stats:
start: 7:17 AM
conditions: brisk, 30s to 50s
altitude change: like, less than nothing
time: 7
ride time: 5.5
miles: 86.59
average mph: 14.9
max mph: 40.5

I so enjoyed fitday.com doing my average cycling milage for me. And then they went and “updated” their format. Where are the averages I so loved? Clearly I am riding less lately, but that doesn’t mean I only deserve a bar graph! {grumbles}

It lasted ever so briefly. It was here in a flash, came to early, before I had access to things like stoves and ingredients. It was splendid while it was here. And now it is gone. I call it my domestic phase. It’s a little-known phase of the Amanda. Apparently home cooking is beginning to become a bit of dying art. I see it in the ratio of grocery stores to eateries. But it sure is great when you are in the mood!

Friend-grown squash with a sweet lemon reduction. Steamed broccoli and hand-made herbed chicken sausage

Hot red coconut curry srir-fry with shrimp and extra-thin rice noodles

Egg scramble with friend-grown greens

sweet potato with friend-grown steamed greens and a sauce that seems to have skipped my mind

3-cheese nachos with homeads salsa and homemade fruit smoothie

Southwestern scramble with potatoes and cilantro
(wow. You can really tell I took this last photo with a better camera!)